Backside Boneless

Minersville, PA. I only went there once, unfortunately, but it takes only one visit to feel the power of the place. If you have never sat in Pennsylvania woods while ogling perfectly sculpted mounds of earth as they are effortlessly bombarded by skilled dirt pilots, your journey as a BMX voyeur is truly incomplete. Shawn Shoener was the main revivalist and digger during my visit, X-Up peak lip launcher.

This is Kevin Porter being interviewed by Chris Rye for his closing statements on the last day of Props Road Fools 9 in the California (?) desert. I had a long running agreement with KP during the first years that I was stuck being in social situations with him. You see, although he's a genuinely nice dude, he's also beyond irritatingly chatty. Like, massive diarrhea of the face. To thwart off being bukkaked in the face with verbal diarrhea, we agreed that every time we crossed paths, I'd give him whatever change I had in my pocket when I was done listening to him talk. He was always penniless and I didn't want to listen to him talk usually for more than 30-45 seconds. How long do cordial pleasantries between acquaintances really need to be dragged out? Win win situation.

Notice that mountain in the background? Another complete loon on the trip was Ryan "Biz" Jordan. He was certain he could run up the mountain in less than, I don't remember exactly, but it was a pretty short amount of time to run to the peak of a mountain. Money was collected, Biz did one toe touch stretch and off he went, full retard strength...reaching the peak just under the time limit. I was standing at a urinal next to him once and he was arguing with his girlfriend on the phone, "You're not my father, I don't have to respect you." His thoughts on life are absolutely unique, and I could listen to him all day.

How did Brian Foster's gold, bronze and 2 silver X-Games medals end up draped around this porn performer's neck? She got paid 100 bucks. Not to shoot this specifically, that was just a coincidence. Her porn name was Drew, either she thought she looked like Drew Barrymore or someone lied and told her she did. I've got a bunch of shots of her in various stupid poses holding a variety of BMX products. Also, I didn't shoot this, Dave Cabrerra did. No clue what happened to the kid. I got so frustrated paying him $25 for photos and dealing with his shit attitude, I picked up a camera and started shooting myself. He launched my photography career, this term used loosely.

Money shots. I got paid $500 bucks for a shot that was within a few frames of this and looked almost identical used for an Etnies Josh Stricker ad. Thanks John Povah. He was always good to me, buying plane tickets and paying good loot. Van Homan spent a few years about an hour outside of Philly living in the first house he bought, and he was always asking people to make the trek out and visit him. To entice people and keep himself entertained as well, he built ramps like this one and bought a jacuzzi. I never even dipped a toe in it, mainly because 90% of the time I was there it was filled with naked dudes.

If there's one thing OSHA is dead serious about, it's safety in the workplace. Whether it's keeping metal shards out of a machinists eyes or protecting a porn starlet from receiving an eyeball shot of baby batter, OSHA is on the case.

Signage, logo placement, whatever you want to call it, it's a basic marketing tactic. I think it's safe to say S&M got maximum exposure out of this scene, which ended with the chick laying on her back, the same one as above, being pile drived in her butt. What a crazy day at work this was. Can't be sure if the S&M logos and frames were the first thing you noticed, maybe it was the dude yanking his ding dong back handed? They all did it that way, there weren't any fluffers, so each dude walked around stroking back handed to get ready or keep it ready for the scene. I could go on and on really, but I'll leave it at it's not every day a dude walks around your workplace wearing only socks and construction boots stroking his ding dong back handed. Action Sports Sex #11 S&M warehouse -

From the Liner Notes: 'The riders from BMX Action and S and M have teamed up with Robby D. to bring you another gonzo destroyng adventure. Big air, big tits, and sick sex on BMX!"

Yup, that about sums the experience up.